Excuses, excuses
My housemate works for a web-company, and it sometimes seems like they're just happy if most of their staff turn up to work at all. So he's seen some interesting excuses for being late ...
Sent at 2pm on a Thursday morning:
Sorry I'm having a complete failure of a morning so far.
failed to set alarm somehow, got up late. got to station without
wallet or oyster card, had to come back. On my way again now, be
there as soon as I can!
Closer to home, here's what I once told my boss:
"Sorry I'm running late, but we had our boiler break this morning"
Here's what I meant:
"Yeah, got ridiculously drunk last night, for no reason, ended up at somebody's house and had to go shopping for new clothes this morning because it was quicker than going home for a shower, shave and change of clothes. Seriously, didn't you wonder why I was wearing hip-hop style street wear? It was the only place open."
At this point it is useful to picture the whitest white-guy shy of an albino (hi Andy!) in glasses and enormous Fubu jeans barely hanging onto his arse (as is the fashion). Then picture him tryng to act like he wears that style of clothing all the time.
At my current work, things are a little bit more relaxed. One of our architects turned up a little before lunch time with this explanation:
Had to have two goes at getting to work this morning. I'll tell you about it later.
Of course, he had a bruised face and bleeding knuckles so perhaps his manager was just too scared to ask. I know I am - it's been a week and we still don't know what happened.
This one from the world of Web-Or-Why-Bother demonstrates a certain over-zealous dedication to personal well-being, at best:
Felt the first hints of possibly coming down with something so decided it best to play safe and sleep in.
Nice work if you can get it.
And of course, I'm sick today with a cold/flu that I got from my girlfriend. I told my work colleagues:
... I'm popping vitamin C like I'm Amy Winehouse and they're anything stronger than vitamin C.
A cheap shot, yeah, but I'm sick so the quips aren't particularly good.